Quote:
Originally Posted by Claritytoo
I am afraid to add to what's in my head. I keep thinking that if I start building stuff I will make everyone too comfortable and no one will want to come back in. I want the stuff in my head to be temperory. I don't want anyone to be in a bad situation but I am uncomfortable with creating a pretend world. It make me feel that I will get lost in it and never leave. My t has suggested that I let my little ones play oI don't do that either. Nothing is safe, no one plays. I am upset over the idea that I can creat things out of no where. If this is possible than what is real. Is it all just pretend. I'm not pretend. I'm afraid.
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I have an idea that thinking in broad terms of massively making changes may be affecting you to the point where its scarey, confusing ...
try something for a minute... rein it in to thinking small and simple version first...
question..have you ever daydreamed/ imagined something (this is the most basic (some places use the term normal ) form of dissociation there is).... have you ever done the therapy technique called visualizations/ guided meditations (both of these techniques utilize the basic (normal) form of dissociation of day dreaming. or even put your arms around yourself and pretend you are giving your self a hug to make your self feel better? or projecting (some locations use the term imagining) your thoughts into other people animals or plants? (I so this one a lot sometimes I imagine what my dogs are thinking and wonder what my cat was thinking when they did something)...
I wouldnt be surprised if you read some of your past posts and can now find examples of when you used your imagination /projection/ basic dissociation abilities.
thats basically all this is when you create a safety zone. you (the aware self) put together a thought/daydream /visualization/ guided meditation that is soothing and calming for you to use when you are under stress/anxiety/....
to start building your safety zone think about all the things you do, think about and use that brings you comfort. then you put those things together in a way that best helps you. they can be put together in your mind or in a real world room or place. from there your alters will add to that.
one thing to think about....where do you go when you dissociate....example when something starts triggering you and you start to dissociate where does your thoughts go...it does always have to be the same "place" every time...
example when I am at work and someone says something thats a bit too hard for me my thoughts go to other things like friday when a co worker dropped something it made a loud pop noise my mind went to the diner down the street thinking wonder whats for lunch today and my mind was off daydreaming about lunch, until I reined it in back thinking of my work schedule. so in that moment of stress my safety zone was the diner down the street.
not making a diagnosis here but just stating something that is the belief around here where I live and work...
everyone has the ability and uses their normal natural dissociation all the time.. some just done know they are doing so, and using it to make changes in their external and internal lives....
a person imagines what will happen if they do this instead of that, then they try it out to see.
a person doesnt like the dream they had last night will imagine a different ending, beginning or mentally try to change that nightmare so its not so scarey...
when people are abused and theres no way out they use their imagination to be in other safe places than there being abused... some people float on the ceiling others imagine complete worlds, some people imagine their selves safely behind walls, under the bed, inside mattresses, and other safe places....
they may not realize they have these safe places but every one has them.
just a guess here but I bet if you work with your therapist you and your therapist will be able to uncover where your thoughts go when you feel threatened, sad, angry, triggered to the point where you dissociate...