Chances are, when you said I do, you did not realize what you were doing in financial terms. When a financially independent woman marries a deadweight husband, she ecquires the responsibility to support him post divorce and maintain his standard of living. The number of years during which you will need to support him probably depends on the duration of marriage. The longer the marriage, the longer the spousal support payments. So you need to calm down, stop catastrophic thinking such as 'everything is falling apart' because it is not as you are young, healthy, and with a GREAT job, probably with upward mobility and excellent income potential, so you are acttually in an enviable position, unlike many people, you are unsure whether the decision to marry was correct which is totally understandable because you have grown tired of the mismatch between your level of achievement and his, someone else seems attractive and that is totally normal as well and nothing to be afraid of or feel guilty about, but do not act on the attraction yet, it is not like you need t catch a train, so register the attraction but do not explore it, see a divorce lawyer to gauge how much and for how long you will need to pay and how this number would change dependent on the duration of marriage, and based upon. What you find out, give youself a deadline and go work on resolving issues with your husband. If the issues can be isolated and fixed, such as by giving him a budget, then the marriage is viable. If the issues are pervasive and cannot be fixed, such as your dissatisfaction with his being a late bloomer and low achiever without a drive for independence, then the marriage is not viable.