Today I kept having flashbacks of when I was a child and in my head, kept repeating "I don't want to eat!!" It was a weird experience. I remembered being a child and being forced to eat liver and tomatoes (my 2 least favorite foods). My parents would yell at me and tell me that I could not leave the table until I finished everything on my plate.

I tried many ways of getting rid of my food (going to the bathroom and spitting it out, feeding it to my dog, throwing it into my sister's plate, hiding pieces of tomato under chicken bones), but none were successful for too long. I would sit for hours at the table, until finally I was forced to eat everything on my plate, cold (even meat I had spit out).

I know it's kind of graphic, but this is what keeps running through my mind. I wish these images would go away. Now, when I'm stressed (or depressed) I don't eat. Today I had to force myself after being immobile in bed for 3 hours, with these thoughts racing through my head. HELP!!! feel sooo lost!!! Am I destined to always be trapped by my childhood? I am now a woman in her early 30's - when will it stop?