i strive hard to find friends but i guess some friends that i have are just there because they can get something from me. i tried hard to be good to do good but it is always not enough it is always so wrong. i want to die but afraid of going to hell. everyday i wait for my sufferings to end. whenever i feel depress i punch the wall to punish myself for being so careless, stupid and inadequate for others. my parents doesn't know that i have a moderate to severe depression :'(