Hi newtus,
I know you are exhausted. Death isn't what you want. Just an end to the pain, fear and exhaustion. If you think that you are truly in danger, please go to the ER, or if you can't do that, call someone to come stay with you. Death is forever and there are no second chances. That may sound good now, but there can be better times ahead.

Having fought depression my whole life, I know how bad it can get. Days of just laying there, unable to move and not caring to. I won't lie and say that I never have problems, because I do frequently, but there are times during which there is hope.

I see that you have been here for a while, which means that you have touched many people's lives. That is really what it is all about. Helping eachother get through this thing called life. If you can't focus on anything good for yourself, focus on the people you are helping find a way out of the darkness. If we don't stay together, there won't be anyone else.

Don't let your mind play tricks on you. If you have to, look at it this way. You can choose to go at any time. Its not like a missed opportunity. You can't choose to come back. Set short term goals for yourself. Getting through one more night, or one more hour. What ever it takes. You aren't alone.

Sam2