Hi. Welcome to PC. It sounds like you are a sane person who knows themselves very well. I also suffer from problems caused by a bad childhood and also from bad jobs and bad people. (I suffer from PTSD, depression, APD and more.) I don't seem to fit in anywhere and empathize with your plight a lot.

You seem to need friends. You can make friends here at PC. Hopefully, that will help you gain confidence and skills for the real world. You seem to have some hobbies and you should use them to try to connect with others who share your interests, e.g, other people interested in starting their own business or who help counsel people who want to start their own business. I also agree that doing volunteer work is a good suggestion as you will meet other caring and giving people. You seem to be on a positive path but its complexity due to your issues makes everything feel difficult. (Or, you believe it to be more difficult than others' lives when it could also be difficult for them because you are not aware of their issues.) Life appears to be a circumstance where it is better to expect problems rather than smooth sailing. With all that is on your emotional plate, it requires that you chart a sound plan towards your goals. You appear to be doing that. I am sorry that it feels so lonely doing so. From what you have told us, you have a lot of successes in cleaning and improving your appearance. You are correct to be concerned about your weight loss. Please consider going to the clinic in person and being persistent about your growing problem with food and weight loss. You might also check to see if there is a 12-step program in your area that could help with this problem. I wish you all the best.