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I am so sick of my life and the person I am, it's far too shameful and hurtful to try and be anything other and to try to put this right.
Put this right.... means kid myself I can change myself to be anything other or just shut up and pretend to please those all around me.
It strange everything even just typing this is wrong of me and something I shouldn't have or do and it really doesn't make much difference nothing does to the pain I feel all in my head all phantom but real none a less to me.
I guess I tried to hide for far too long in hope of avoiding everything that would take it all always but I just made it worse and made my fears of me a reality which is true of me now and how I think and feel is the cold harsh truth.
But how do you get other that trying to challenge those thoughts feelings will never work but how do you move on and just forget or let go of the past you so it does not affect the you at present where you need to be to just get on with life and living alongside those around you.
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