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Originally Posted by Big Mama
I hate to see men struggle and not have groceries or rent money because the government has set this crazy rate for child support. That's not what I'm after. It is the father of my children for crying out loud. If it hurts him it hurts them. I would like to figure out something between us that is going to leave us both in a situation where we can have a life outside of one another. But I have no idea where to start and what factors to even consider.
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The couple has a role in deciding how much child support your husband will pay. If you and he want him to pay less than the standard government rate, then you just put that in your divorce settlement. You guys have a lot of control, especially if you can make decisions together.
However, that said, you said you haven't worked for 15 years. How about your husband? Is he working? You may find that you need a year or two of full child support before you get your career together and find a decent paying job where you need less child support.
Please see a lawyer and discuss your options. I recommend a process called Collaborative Divorce, as then you and your husband will work together to craft the best settlement instead of being adversaries. Collaborative Divorce is client-centered--you and your husband will make the decisions, not a judge or lawyers. You do not need to go to court. But do be sure that there is a lawyer involved so that the divorce agreement will hold up to legal scrutiny and be enduring.
I recommend you go to speak to a lawyer to understand your options for the divorce process. You can find lawyers in your area who are trained to do collaborative divorce by going to this website:
http://www.collaborativepractice.com/
Good luck.