oh this must be horrible for you

i can relate on the anxiety caused by having to go to an ob-gyn. i have had a couple infections but i self-medicated and thankfully i didn't need to go to the doctor. however, in your case, i do recommend seeking professional help.

because i didn't know what exactly vaginismus was, i looked it up (haha on me) and a psychiatrist would be able to help you get through the emotional pain, and possibly even help you learn how to work through the physical pain that the disorder can cause. as for your actual doctor, if you have an infection then you might be able to get it cleared up with oral medicine.

i don't think your mom understood what you were talking about if you told her outright that you thought you had vaginismus. she probably confused it with vaginitis, which is an infection. vaginitis is a common occurrence among women, but vaginismus is a sexual disorder. more info can be found here: http://www.vaginismus.com/vaginismus-treatment

like i said, the actual infection may be cleared up with oral medication, which would be best in your case. unfortunately i don't think an ob-gyn will do sedation for a routine examination, which is what situations like this (minus the vaginismus) would normally call for. the only thing i think they might need to do is check your vaginal pH levels to get a grasp of what kind of infection it would be, and that, unfortunately, would require an examination down there.

i agree with taking something to relax you before visiting the ob-gyn. your psychiatrist should be able to prescribe it for you.

also, i agree with testing out the ob-gyn and talking to him/her before an actual exam. in your case, it would definitely be best to have a female doctor so that you are a little less frightened.

i really hope that you can get help soon, and that the website i linked to is informative and helpful to you. good luck!