I would cycle every two weeks or so. sometimes it would lead to an episode, and other times it would just be cycling. I have depression followed by hypo, with the depression always lasting the longest. when I would even out, I had a week or two at the most before it started again.

attitude always went a long way with dealing with it. but in the end it always won. Even now on meds, I still cycle, just not as severe and I am able to cover it up more. I am not sure if I will ever be symptom free but at least I get some relief.

it has always been this way for me since a child. it's the normal for me, and it's hard discovering what a healthy person feels most of the time. for me, it's how life was, and is, and I never questioned it growing up.

but I don't feel sorry for myself for dealing with it growing up and through adulthood. If anything, I feel it's made me a strong and better person. there are times that it gets to me though...

some of the biggest fallout has been always feeling like I am or have done something wrong. paranoia. that and not being able to have a good time without questioning in the back of my mind if I am getting hypo again.
also the emotional turbulence. it's really bad. I don't think I will ever have control over my emotions and thought patterns. I would say I have broken thought patterns along with the out of control emotions.

maybe that's why I crave structure so much. My wife is very black and white, and that makes it easy to please her. I fall terribly in the gray areas but i can succeed in the black and white areas.

anyways, that is what it's like for me.