I don't yet know the answer for this either as I am the ADHD side and my wife is always reminding me of things, refocusing me, asks me to repeat stuff that I heard but didn't take in, asking me to stop making noises, etc. I know this mess inside out but am only just getting into what to do. I find the adhdmarriage site very helpful as far as understanding the situation. What to do for me is get help, probably get on meds, get CBT... Will it ever go away ... I don't think so but hopefully it becomes less taxing.