I'm glad you had the courage to admit yourself to the hospital. Your recent post above shows that you try to think things out carefully and you have a lot of insight. Yes, p-doctors don't spend much time with people inpatient (or anywhere else for that matter.) That happened to me a year ago. I thought it was just the place I went to. Sounds like it is a tread. That's too bad. Still, I'm glad you went and tried to get something out of it. The referral may be a start at something helpful. I understand that "distaste" you are speaking of. It seems that in mental health care things may be going backwards in how consumers are treated. Glad you at least found a helpful nurse.

I am very surprised that you were "turned away" and "ignored" by other patients. You seem to be very honest and I believe that is how it felt to you. At the same time, it seems strange that everyone would be that way. Some of it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy on your part. I wasn't there and I don't want to assume I know anything more than you do. I am prone to social phobia and am socially avoidant, myself. I won't join in with others unless I get a lot of encouragement and reassurance that I will be accepted. This can color my perceptions. Perhaps, you have this kind of social anxiety that I know I have. You might want to investigate the nature of this condition and see if it fits you.

You are a decent person, and it is very healthy that you know that about yourself. You can build a lot on that. Try to keep in mind that there are always other decent people just about everywhere you go in life. Give them a chance, even though that is very hard for you to do. You can make connections with other people, but not while you are focusing on reading a book. I know because that is exactly what I've done most of my life, even when I was in programs for recovery. My peers had to practically extend "engraved invitations" for me to join them. When I did, I found they were more caring than I would have expected. Keep reading, but also keep trying to come out of the cocoon. You certainly are worthy of human interaction. It is a very good sign that you think that way. You are caring of others, and that will come across when you come out from behind the veil. It can seem excruciatingly difficult to do, but you will be valued by others when you do. Always, there will be disappointments. That is the price for participating in life. It seems high at times. Believe me . . . I know.