It does hurt- I know. Please do not ever give up on yourself. Is there someone you can call? Is there a local crisis hotline where you can get some additional support? If you really cannot keep yourself safe, PLEASE go to the ER or call your T to help advocate for you, and to help decide what the best next move is for you right now. Even if your support network feels weak, there are other, much better options for you. *Hugs*