Go directly to the ER if you have any doubt at all as to your safety, and you do seem to have doubts.

One of the first questions they will ask is who they can contact for you.

Do you have the number of your T or a friend that can come when they get that call?

I KNOW I do and am very thankful for that.

So do you have a number?

This place has saved me a trip to the hospital at least once...is it helping here?

Maybe shift the focus to personal goals and tools, something that has to do with the future that you DO have?