Quote:
Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal
Its really hard to explain exactly what I mean...I am not good at explaining things.
I want to go to college, not university, so I have to pick something to study. I really want to go to school to study nutrition, it's something I am interested in and have been learning about on my own for a couple years now, especially food allergies/sensitivities because I have some myself and I like to help people.
The only thing is, I have wanted to go back to school to study like 3 different things over the years. I get one idea in my head and I am set on it...then lose interest. Then I want to do something else and it starts again and then...not interested anymore. I don't want to go to school and then decide I am not interested anymore.
Then there's the fact that I really don't believe I am smart enough to go back to school. I don't have the greatest attention span at all. I don't want to spend all that money to fail.
I am a binge eater. Ilost 75 lbs after my daughter was born (she is now almost 3) and about the time she turned 1, I started binge eating. I am addicted to food. So I feel like I physically cannot stop myself...and every day is the same....I try as hard as I can but I fail. So I feel trapped in the sense that I hate my job, I'm too chicken **** to get a new one because of my social anxiety, and I don't know what I want to go to school for. I will never lose the last 30lbs I need to lose because I can't stop stuffing my face. I would even be happy to maintain at this point and just stop gaining.
Oh and I really hate my job.My boss yells at me, she makes me feel like an idiot and that I don't know how to do my job. I work my *** off, do the best I can but it's never enough because there is always SOMETHING that either I didn't do, or did wrong and that's all that matters. I cried one day last week because she yelled at me for a mistake that I had already made before (I seriously have the WORST memory)
She is really just a verbally abusive person. I feel like I am stuck in this job because I can't find a better one.
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Regarding the college major, you at some point need to take an action no matter what.
I have a girlfriend. She is a jazz singer in Moscow. She goes on tours with her band. When she was in Bangkok, Thailand, a guy fell in love with her. The guy is an American naturopathic doctor. What do American educated naturopathic doctors do in Thailand? Do not ask me; I thought that Thailand has enough domestic professionals in the area of healing arts but apparently not - apparently they need some US imports.
So now he wants to invite her to Thailand. She likes him. He wants to buy her a ticket. She is afraid to go because she is afraid to stop liking him during the trip and start feeling trapped because she would feel obliged, with his having bought the ticket.
Likewise, you are afraid of stopping to like the subject of your interest in college.
Everyone is at risk of stopping to like their partner or topic of interest. At some point people take risk, and if eventually they indeed stop liking whatever or whoever they originally liked, they deal with this situation then. Cut short their trips, switch jobs, break up with one guy and get together with another, etc. It is just life - it is fluid and there is nothing to be done about it. If the interest in nutrition has persisted over two years, then it is a fairly safe bet to pursue it. And, if you have that interest, read this
wonderful blog post that would give you a great perspective on why conceiving of food as something you can get addicted to is not necessarily the best idea.