I can't remember the last time this has happened (my friends already get that, for the most part, if I say something rude, I'm either being sarcastic or I didn't mean it to be rude), but in terms of social relations with my teachers, it has already happened twice this year. The most recent one was actually just today.

I really disappointed my teacher, and though he didn't call out my name specifically, my friends knew who he was talking about. They all peeked at me out of the corner of their eyes. I wanted to crawl under my bed, curl up in a ball, and disappear. Unfortunately, I was in class, and not my room, so I did the next best thing I could think of at the time.

Pretend it wasn't me and act like I wasn't nearly as bothered as I really was for my friends.

That only made me feel 10 times worse when I left the class. I didn't want to approach my teacher right after class because then everyone would know instead of just my friends. I didn't want to approach my teacher alone either. I was afraid that he'd really rip into me about the impression of the assignment he'd given us and how I should've taken it more seriously. Most importantly, I was afraid that I'd break down right in front of him from all the feelings of shame and guilt and sadness and anger and fear.

I'll apologize to him in the email I'm going to send him with a second draft of my assignment attached. At least, I hope I'll work up the guts to apologize.