Hello clarinetman,

Welcome to PC.

I really can't think of any words of wisdom to help you through your shame and depression. Have you ever tried seeing a therapist, so you can talk out these issues with a helpful professional?

I do know that holding dark emotions inside yourself isn't good for you at all. Were you seeing another man before your friend began hugging female congregates at church? Perhaps you've transferred feelings that you held towards another man to him?? I don't know. Just a possibility that came across my mind.

There is a social group on this site for gay & lesbians, and those who love them. Perhaps that group may have some real helpful ideas to get you into a more clear state of mind. Very best wishes to you!