I really do recommend that you see a "real" therapist who can help you work through your childhood issues. I think that would cut through a lot of time. However, in the meantime and while there, you can still post here and we can support you and talk about what you are going through with your boyfriend. It sounds like at least you have a head start, since you have insight into your issues and what likely caused them.

Does your boyfriend know about your past? You might consider sharing some of it. He might understand you better then. And talking with a counselor in the meantime, too, will help you, so I'm glad you're doing that.