I tried that before.. it didn't work.. it was as if I had covered a wound with a bandage and never took that bandage off to let the wound heal.. it became infected.. festered for a long time... and now I am having to clean up that wound and THEN try to let it heal...

Maybe thats too graphic. but its how I feel. literally the keeping of secrets.. the pretending to be something I wasn't.. the giving control of my life over to what others want or think .. it all has taken a painful effect on my body and I am having to work my way out of it by healing from the inside out...

i only wish I had never stuffed it all the way i did.. years of it..stuffed so deep I am still digging..so please.. don't do that to yourself.. don't give your life over to the opinions of others.. you can't possibly please them all anyway.. you will exhaust yourself trying!

Life is to be enjoyed.. you must allow yourself to heal so you can be true to yourself...I hope you make that choice! Faith.