God, I feel you. I don't want to be that crazy person that can't control things, do what she is supposed to etc. I find myself trying to rationalize why I do this or that, trying to understand why things happen but I don't know. I don't know what should be the norm, why can't my point of view not be legit.
There's a song from radio head .. Says that we are accidents waiting to happen... I always believed that there are no mistakes and that everything can be turn around. But I don't know anymore.