Quick Backstory: I'm 27 now. My mom, whom I was closest with, died of cancer right before I moved out of the house and started college. Without her guidance, I developed a bad procrastination habit, which led me to failing classes, but finally graduating after transferring to three different schools. I felt like I didn't care. In 2010, my younger sister and only sibling, died of a sudden clot - she had a form of mental retardation and was hard to live with. The following year my dad, whom I was trying to build a relationship with after all this trauma, died of lung cancer.

I have now moved to the West Coast w/ my girlfriend of four years. I am living off a nice trust my father left me, but have no motivation to get a job. Beginning with my mother's death 'til now, I just don't care about much.

I have never been to a grief counselor or therapist for all of this - at the time, my friends and other family members helped me. But now that the dust has settled, I feel completely alone and don't know what to do next. I've developed anxiety around other people - for example, I can leave the house in a great mood, meet with a friend, but as soon as I start thinking about all I've lost I get quiet, depressed, introverted, etc.

Since I don't have a job, I don't have insurance to see a therapist. My girlfriend, who is a wonderful professional nurse, said that if we got married I could use her great benefits for medical care. But I wonder if I would just be "using" her and not loving her.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you, Psych Central.