You are not alone in making tons of mistakes. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's part of the gift.

I used to be a very detail-oriented person on the job. Sure, I was a job-hopper and never happy working for someone else. And I've been fired many times.

But very early in my world of working, I had bosses praise me for being so detail-oriented with paperwork and tasks.

A few years later, when I was at a job as assistant to a highly visible person on a college campus, and I thought I was doing a great job, I was blindsided when this boss took me to lunch one day to ***** at me. I was told things like, "Do you really think you have a full-time job here? Do you really think you stay busy enough for full-time? Because you don't. And the work you do is hideous. I've never seen so many errors. I've had to bring in extra student workers to correct your mess."

I was stunned. I felt like saying, "I'd have more time to concentrate on my actual work if I wasn't always busy helping you plan parties and personal events."

Up until that *****-fest, I truly believed I was meticulous at whatever I did.

I've tried different jobs. Didn't help.

Tried different industries. Didn't help.

Tried finishing my degree and getting a job in the field I always thought I wanted to work in. It helped for about a year and a half, and then I was making mistakes again, taking way too long to finish my work, working extra hours without extra pay to get it done (because I was on salary), had no motivation to get things done by deadline.

Then I decided it was the fault of my boss. If my boss was better at being a boss, I would be a better worker.

So I quit.

Since then, I've been on unemployment three times, fired several more times, worked several places, walked out of a few places.

This last job that I had -- the one I was so worried about trying to keep when I first found this forum and joined -- I made TONS of mistakes. I didn't even care.

Then I started doubting my intelligence because of the mistakes and not understanding how to do the job.

I told myself it was their fault. They shouldn't have hired me knowing that I had never used the software they used. I didn't have a degree in that area. My degree was close, but not close enough.

Is anyone else quick to blame everyone else when we know it's our bipolar doing these things to us?

I feel your pain. Yes, the non-bipolar people are wondering why we couldn't just handle whatever it was that we screwed up. "What's wrong with so-and-so? Is she taing drugs? Is she drunk? Is she high? What's wrong with her NOW? She's so down compared to how she was acting before. Is she stupid? Why doesn't she understand what I trained her on the other day?"

They have no idea how hard we work sometimes trying to act normal or get the bare minimum done to try and stay afloat.