I am so sorry that you are sad and lonely in Az. I am also in Az so if that helps, there is at least one person here that you can talk to. You don't have to be quite as lonely as you are. Can you not go back home and get another job there? I really don't think you are going to be happy anywhere else anyway because everyone and everything you love is there. I am quite sure you are depressed but hopefully it is just a temporary thing that you will come out of when you find friends or go back home. It's the other thing, the OCD thing, that concerns me. I think that it may do you some good to try a counselor to get past that "dirty" thing you have going on there. I'm not sure how you can start a relationship or keep one going when your mind is telling you that kissing and touching is bad. It isn't fair to you or to whomever you are trying to date. It is a much bigger problem and can have a profound effect on your life. I hope you will consider counseling for that. Have a good day and feel free to PM me if you want to.