What exactly is kind and caring? Is he really letting you know he's interested or he just being nice? Does he know you're married? Coworkers are not what they seem on the outside, or people in general, especially if you've 'just met' him, people can be deceiving. Is the issue about spending? How long has this issue been going on for? Do you love him or do you prefer a man's position in life? Either you try to work it out, no matter how tough it may be, or leave if he can't communicate with you.