Have you seen a therapist about this issue? I'm sure you don't want to go through life avoiding men, to the point where you can't even listen to one. I do think you can have a good relationship with a man, but to me your reaction is saying that you need more healing first.

We do have people here who have been raped and I think there's still a social group of these women. You might check there and see how they have dealt with it and how they are doing. A thought, anyway...