I won't be there tomorrow. I am imploding, I don't expect you to care. The pain I feel is self-annihilating, and I hope it finishes the job, although I doubt that I would be granted a stay of being in agony. Hope is no longer warranted, so why won't it leave me alone? I feel like the child in Rikki Tikki Tavy, when the snake is in front of him, the snake says, "If you move, I strike. If you don't move, I strike." There is no escape. There is no escape.