I guess this may not be considered a problem by all of you but...
I have treatment resistant MDD and have had it for at least 35 years. My husband and I have 5 children. My H and I are going on a trip. We leave Friday. We hardly talk to each other when we are together and when we do, we end up fighting. It is always my fault. H is always negative with my children and me. I know I am the cause of his negativity. He has borne the brunt of this illness for a very long time. I cannot remember if he knew about my depression before we got married (I have severe amnesia caused by numerous ect treatments). He even has to give my meds to me because the pdoc does not trust me. I have such a bad memory and impaired concentration that I cannot even remember what meds I take.

I am really afraid to be alone with H for 9 days. He isn't physically abusive, but we can't just communicate without fighting. At least at home, I have kids to distract me and I read and am on the Internet constantly. (When I read, I can read the same books over and over because as soon as I am finished I cannot remember the story.)

This trip sounded like a good idea but now I am dreading it. I am so lonely. I have seriously considered a separation but there is no way I can afford it and my children would not understand. My youngest child has depression because of me and I think he might do something awful if I left.

Sorry. I just needed to say all this. I will not have access to the Internet so I cannot read PC. Even though I do not contribute to PC, reading your posts makes me feel a little less alone.

How am I going to make it through 9 days?