I found and joined this site because I was having a very hard time dealing with my Bipolar 1 disorder. I had made some big decisions about medications that my PDOC wasn't very happy about.

When I joined I had just weaned totally off Seroquel after being on it for 7 years.
I was feeling more alive was staring to drop weight. Over time the dose of Ativan I was and I am on now had become incredibly high. So high I could not find a new PDOC to take me. My PDOC of 13 years, well how would you feel if your PDOC always fell asleep during your appointments ? I was slowly dropping the Ativan dose.

Being off the Seroquel I felt I would face challenges that having support like this group would help.

Never could I have ever imagined my Jason, my only child would die in front of us from heroin.

I know this is not a grief site. But the level of depression I feel and the suicidal feelings I have are things you guys have gone through.

I remember in August when Jason had a close call I said if he died so would I.
Each day this week I have been going down down down .

The tv being on usually is comforting now it is grating my ears.
I took 50 mg of seroquel and 6 mg of Ativan (this is not a lot for me I am on 12 mg of Ativan daily). Hoping I could go back to bed and space out. It is not working today. My mind is electric my ears are buzzing. I don't know if I should take more seroquel and or some Benadryl.

What does anyone do in a situation like this?