Please consider carefully before you take such a drastic permanent step. I idealized suicide for years and truly felt I didn't care what happened to me but that my family would be so much better off without me. I was wrong - my family needs me. One thing that really helped me to decide not to try to kill myself was playing the what ifs out with my therapist. She pointed out ot me that many people who attempt suicide do not succeed. Many people who are today paralysed became that way by trying to kill themselves, it was possible I would not be dead but merely crippled, stuck in bed or wheelchair or worse stuck in a body that I could no longer control. I could perhaps do brain damage and never be able to care for myself or any of my family. We touched briefly on what being dead would mean for my family and for the body I would leave behind (yuk!)

It took me a while to work though all this but I realized that I was here for some reason outside of myself and so I decided to do what I needed to do to get healthy. I also found that after seriously considering all this I could not idealize suicide any longer. I don't know if it was part of her plan but I honestly can't just stop and think I wish I was dead cos my mind walks on down the paths we looked at together. Life is a challenge but who wants to life to be boring?

Dalila