SAWE, my husband was one of those people who just left therapy, went to work and home and never thought about therapy again until the next time he went. He made little to no progress in therapy. So, I'm thinking there must be a happy medium between letting healing happen, and working at it.

I know in my own therapy, my t has guided me about WHAT I work on in session and what he would like me to concentrate on between sessions. For instance, I had certain behaviors I wanted to change (being too reactive to certain things, emotional eating, etc). My T assured me that if I addressed the underlying thought processes, instead of focusing so hard on the behavior, the behavior would eventually go away on its own. In terms of the things I am reactive to, that has certainly been true. I still tend to eat when sad and not eat when stressed, but I think that is better. I also stopped biting my fingernails for the first time in 45 years, without even trying or thinking about it. I have been able to be more open and honest with my friends, and developed new friendships. I have not "worked" on any of those things. Those things just all improved as I worked on my negative self talk, and the distorted way I looked at myself and my past. I WORKED my a s s off, but just not on those particular things.

Not sure I'm making any sense. Sorry.