I know I have a dissociative disorder, but it's not DID. I was just wondering if anyone else had what I call "half-formed alters"? I have an image of a child in my head, that until recently I saw as my inner child. My therapist had wondered if she was an alter, but then, through conversations, we came up with her not meeting the criteria... She has since disappeared.
I have been very dissociative throughout my life. I lose time and "forget" conversations had and promises made... I often times have no awareness of what I am doing. The worst of this recently was in 2011 when I completely dissociated for more than 2 days (tho I am not totally sure how much time I lost, I just know there are the 2 days I spent in the hospital before I "woke up". During that time, I was functioning and acting like myself, tho apparently a bit more needy and "small" than normal).
I regularly build "walls" between my analytical self, and the one that crashes. I have a ridiculous ability to function at a high level when I am around others, but crumble when I am at home. I can hold it together until the absolute last possible minute, and then I crash... I excelled at a f/t job immediately before and after several hospitalizations... I can totally compartmentalize the different parts of me, but none of it really meets the requirements of DID... I wish I was still seeing my old therapist (recently moved across the country), because I would talk to her about this... I just never really had terms for it, or a more formed idea of what it was I was trying to ask before now...
Does anyone else experience stuff like this? Is it possible to have had alters and integrate them without having treatment to do so?