I finally admitted who I was in that thread. underneath it all I am not who people think I am. I am rather cold hearted, cruel and manipulative. that is who I am and that is why I am always running and hiding.

I fight this everyday and I am trying like hell to be a good person. But... I also admitted that I was fake. fake cuz I try and help and be a good person but knowing who I really am.

I admitted this to myself this morning. I had to face up to it. I am really devastated right now, but i also know that I would rather be devastated over something that is true than feel this way about something that is not true.

I am not looking for attention.

just sharing what I have known, but not able to admit, till now.