Quote:
Originally Posted by Crescent Moon
I think there's something about being able to talk about it - all of it - the injustice of it - etc - to the same therapist over and over as much as you need to.. that eventually takes the sting out of it. Sure doesn't happen overnight, but having someone to witness your pain, to validate the crappiness of it, reduces its potency over time.
There was a particularly traumatic set of experiences over a two year period that had me in so much pain that I just cried all the time in therapy. My therapist, after a while, got concerned that I wasn't seeming to get over it. It dominated my therapy. When I realized that, I tried to put a lid on it. Then the pain interfered with my real (outside of therapy) life. I retreated deep in my cave and shut down. I'll never forget the day that my therapist said "Crescent, from this day forward here's what I want you to do: Save all that pain and bring it here. If you feel it out there between sessions, try to set it aside, because I want you to save it for here when you're with me. If you need to, you can talk about it every second of every session from now on, until you don't need to. I just don't want you to feel that pain 'out there.'" Man, that was amazing. And I did exactly that. Here I thought she was sick of hearing about it, and I got a golden ticket invitation to dump all that pain with her every time I saw her. After a while, it subsided. And then she pointed out that it had been months since I talked about that subject, And now, I can remember it, but it causes no pain.
So talk about it. As much as you need to. That spreads it out on the table, kind of diluting it.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crescent Moon
You might want to play with the idea that you might need a therapist with a different orientation. Someone who is willing to really be "in" it with you. I think it's called 'supportive' therapy.
You shouldn't walk away from session feeling more alone. You should walk away feeling lighter. If that's not happening on a *most* of the time basis, then this therapist's orientation/philosophy etc. may not be a good fit for you.
|
Can i borrow yours CM? Yours sounds awesome.
I am waiting to start with a new T who does emdr and somatic therapy. Just wating for a space to be freed up. But with my current T who has been amazing all the way thru is who i put in the mothering role, because it was easier to pretend that i had someone to fill that role rather than face the truth that actually, no i don't and won't ever. It hurts. I feel rejected by her. Like the idea of being in that role must be vomit inducing to her. I know i'm being unreasonable and stupid but my inner child is heartbroken.
My T this week called taking away the emails and putting in clearer boundaries "tough-love". It does feel tough but it doesn't feel like love. How can she not understand how this feels to me?