Thank you again for the wise words, i do see myself in them. Just writing here about it is like a load off my shoulders, i always kept it to myself, but i do think i should go on and live my life healthy, your words are so enlightning, i see it in a whole different way now. thank you so much you don't even know how much you have helped me!!!i think i am getting better at just accepting it, i guess that's what i have to do to stay mentally healthy, thank you again-avlady