I struggle with tearing myself to shreds in my inner monologue. I have tried lots of different tactics to knock this off unsuccessfully: meditation, CBT, doing esteemable acts. I don't think I really need to think I'm fantastic, so much as I need to stop with the self-flagellation.

I've recently read a neat little book called The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking. It talks about the self being a fiction, a useful fiction, but a fiction nonetheless, and that when one thinks of the self this way, it makes much less sense to assess it as being either good or bad, worthy or unworthy. So this line of thought is helping me to sidestep the struggle and just focus on my current actions and choices to try to make them as healthy and useful as possible.