You should try writing erotic stories. You may be good at that - at least it is worth trying. I am also surprised that you have reviewed the whole Internet not to find anybody like you because it is not that you are describing sleeping with extraterrestrial agents, for god's sake. OK, a few more partners than the statistical average, tall, likes heels, likes to dress in feminine clothes, two strong romantic relationships by age 28, one marriage by age 28, a little bisexual, a little into being dominated, one r/s with an older man, so what? What is so freaking unusual? I cannot believe that the Internet is not overflowing with stories of wives who want spanking after starting to feel sexually possessive - I am not into reading them, in general, but I am sure they exist in quantity. It baffles me that you have been unable to find them.

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Yes, it seems limiting and unfortunate that you do not feel happy and confident without heels. It is like heels are your crutches. But things can be much worse, so it does not seem to be an extreme problem as long as you have a good collection of pumps. If you want to try something liberating, maybe make an attempt to walk in flat shoes for a while and see if the world would come to an end. If it does not, increase the time wearing flats. Then, progress to going barefoot. It is called desensitization.