Yes, I've felt that way before. Once in awhile I still do. But it's not often.

Adam, you really need to get back into therapy and TRUST that the therapist is going to listen. Personally, I do not like psychiatrists. I've been to a couple, and like you said, all they did was sit there and listen and grunt. Then I switched to a psychologist and wow was there a difference! I got feedback, I got advice, I was positive that she was listening, etc. The sessions were very productive every single time, and while exhausting, I was elated! My granddaughter goes to a psychologist too, and she says the same thing.

So perhaps if you saw a psychologist you would feel more comfortable. But just trusting -- taking the RISK and trusting -- would not only help you open up, but it would help you realize that people are not going to reject you for your feelings. Your feelings aren't so terrible that your wife would be horrified and leave you -- depression is an ILLNESS. Would she leave you if you had diabetes? I think not. Would she leave you if you had cancer? I think not. If you discussed your fears of cancer with her, would she leave you Of course not. So why should she leave you if you discussed your feelings of depression? Does you wife KNOW that depression is an illness? Does she know that it is now recognized by the medical community as an illness?? Perhaps she's not aware of that. Maybe she's more educated than you think.

I hope you'll get into therapy Adam. You won't regret it. I promise. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee