I am trouble at school because of something that happened when I was highly triggered and had taken Ambien. I ended up writing an email with sexual content that is offensive, but I didn't realize it until two days later when she brought it up.

I addressed the concerns she had, explained the circumstances, and then made many suggestions about boundaries for future limits in contact.

I thought that it was resolved, but she shared the email with her supervisor, who then shared it with the director so I was called in for a meeting, where it was pretty clear to me that they had already made a decision before hearing what I had to say. I suspect that because they had already made an appointment with the director of training at my school in advance and expected me to be there shortly after the meeting without giving me notice until the end of the meeting.

So I had to go through the same thing again, this time with one of my professors also present. The email had been shared already so they really didn't want to hear too much about the things I had done about it, which were responsible and professional.

In the end, I am now pulled from the agency where I was doing my work and also have to go through some sort of review board of the faculty so I will continue to have to talk about these very disturbing things to complete strangers. And it might circulate through the faculty to people I had intended to work with in the future so it is damaging in so many ways.

Right now I don't feel much emotion because I had a full day of having to be in these meetings and be contained and professional. But I have a feeling that it will catch up with me sooner than later. And need some support from people who actually have lived through trauma and know what it feels like and what it can do to your life.