Whilst I agree I have made poor decisions, I have also managed to get myself up and out of bed, to work on time on a daily basis. I haven't self harmed for a while now and I have gone to therapy whenever it was possible for us both to meet, I see those as good choices. My T trusts me enough to get help from somewhere if I really need it, so I don't see why this information is so important. If I was threatening to do something I could understand. I don't want to wake up, but I wouldn't actively do something. I neither want to live or die. I just want support, which I am paying for. If I share this with T, I will not be able to tackle subjects for fear of what may happen. I feel safer without T knowing this.