Unfortunately Im afraid Im not good at making friends :/ As you probably already noticed english is not my first language.I dont have any problems at all talking to strangers or people i just met in my native language.But whenever Im around new people here in Canada I dont even wanna talk a word to them cause Im constantly afraid of making mistakes in grammar or vocabulary and would be so ashamed of it.

I just read some articles about the borderline disorder. I actually think that I might have that.For example today my boyfriend told me he wants to go to a hockey game with his friends and i immediately got that "feeling" in my chest/stomach again.After I told him i dont want him to go but he was still considering it i felt sick and actually threw up.The thought of him having fun with his friends(and FEMALE "friends" will come too) spending the day with him made me sooo jealous.So jealous that i literally got sick.
Im afraid talking to my bf about this again as im scared that hell think im "mental"... :/