Pretending can only get you so far, at least for me, then I would get a full-blown depression that would lead to very bad & destructive behaviors. Medication & therapy helped me to come to terms with the past & not have it affect me so much today. However, I'm not "there" yet. I'm still a work in progress & having to face things from my past that are continuing to impact me in a negative way now, but I'm trying to get over these things so I can focus more fully & happily on the future I deserve. You do, too. Seek help. Don't deny your reality.--Suzy