((Pachy and {un}Happy Guy))

Thank you for your replies on this. Please know that I overall Do agree with you.

I have just been pondering on weather or not "how i fill those voids" are productive or not; then reading more into Voids on other views- I can honestly say I see both sides of this coin of depression and enlightenment with "being aware of the void"...

I don't want to be too convoluted with my writing, and I will try not to be.

Pachyderm mentions
"filling voids with present-day activities can help some, "

If you would had met me 6 or so years ago, those present day activities were getting high every waking moment on good ol' THC, and planning what to "try out" on the weekend (Try out something much harder than marijuana that is).....
If any one at that time told 20 year old Beauflow she was trying to fill a void with the drugs- it would be a "no" to them verbal, but a inner question she'd been asking herself already at times, and at other times being sideswiped of the whole picture.

This being an example of a counterproductive void filling-- an example of she had thought on certain voids for far too long, leading to belittle herself, leading to depression and an out lit to it all- substance abuse.
Sideswiped from herself, she forgot to see the good in things.

Today a present day activity of a Beauflow is crocheting--
I wonder at time if that is productive with filling voids in some way....
--As in not only am I learning a "trade" and being productive with making something (hopefully useful!) I get to think a lot in a calm manner- let thoughts come and go, think on some and let them pass, some times even make analogies as I crochet with life and the projects......
Even on that note- Some times while crocheting and thinking, i find empty spots with in me (oh why was so upset about (blank)-- due to lack of something with in or from childhood, etc.)-- This is here is where Unhappy Guy's post comes in hand- not to dwell on it, find creative ways....
Present day (as in today) I Tend to see more good things these days too, and I think that the mention of "flow" with one of the articles, does have some influence with that.
Meaning, at some point, even while doing drugs I realized I was doing something negative to myself, and wanted to try a different route to go to fill the void.... Cleaned up, and is living a different type of life style; giving another view-- changing that flow of life to which a Beauflow came from....


but then I wonder as well if some times some of the things that I do, are filling voids but yet counterproductive still (subconsciously) ... I am not (or I think I am not) really materialist but sometimes I do go and buy clothes for "just cuz"- this can make 'oh so happy' some times- but yet... it does not last forever... as the first article mentions along the lines of, we could do things to make us feel better, but the void comes back.
I wonder at times if this here would be a form of "blocking" and filling that void with something but not what it is really needs.

the enlightenment part I think is partially already said here- with admitting the "weakness" to self... just because it may be a weakness, does not mean it has to be a negative thing-- after all- I think i am human, and know humans are not perfect it gives me some light on what perhaps to work on.

**Edit Here** One more thought too is--
and As Pachy has mentioned
"some may never be completely filled"
Perhaps the mere fact of acknowledging that void, accepting it-- even if it can not be filled-- Perhaps even accepting the fact that it can not be filled, perhaps?..... (on some things I think that may be ok, but then again- i question myself a lot)

Though, I think as I get older and growing and understanding more (as Pachy as made sure to say)--- I may understand a bit better (perhaps?).. I don't think this is the end of my thinking on the topic for me 's