like you, i do feel that my life's been destroyed by not just bipolar, but getting wheelchair bound too.

when i was a kid, like you, i had thoughts o going to colledge... hanging with friends, perhaps going to a good university, getting a good job, etc

in fact- in my younger years life was almost like... a joy- not quite, but getting up felt good- i was glad to be still here. i wasn't happy, but i got by.

anyway as for me.. i first attempted suicide at 9 years old- i used to go to this camp every year- in an attempt to make friends with people my age

anyway this 1 year we were hiking in the woods and the other camp mates couldn't find me.. started searching all over for me

they eventually did find me, (i won't say where or how because i'm not sure that's allowed on here) but i was in a pretty bad way. i was " attempting".

it took a long time, but the leader of the camp finally got me to back down and come back with him on the bus

that was it, really. that was the mark i started going down hill

i was diagnosed (it was either 11 or 12) and at the time, i was trying to get through my schooling- which eventually had to be terminated

as for then?

well, attempted again... and the damage was so bad i was actually hospitalised over christmas- actually i think it was december... i think i was out on the 24th or something

so since then i've been wheelchair bound, and it's to the point where i need everything done for me- sitting up, getting dressed, having everything got for me.. like if i've a cd sitting on the desk i need someone to pick it up because i can't get it, etc

add that to all the anxiety, the bipolar and the borderline, yes... i think my life has been taken from me- in not the nicest way

but here's the thing: i'd not change it

well, of course i would.. i mean- their are things i'd like to do that i can't do now, but i don't think i'd know how to live- i've lived so long in this condition. it is like a part of me