Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
My experience was similar to CM's (though paternal rather than maternal). And I also was resistant to the experience. It wasn't articulated in the beginning, but at moments that could strengthen or weaken the placement of those needs in him, my T would encourage me to give them over.
I wasn't looking for a parent because to me parents were dangerous. It was my T who saw that I needed to repair my experience through re-parenting.
It also makes me wonder if this doesn't go back to the needs/wants issue. That needs must be provided for therapeutically, but wants are viewed as distortions and so resisted?
This makes me wonder if there isn't something in the dynamic that encourages Ts to reach out to those of us who retreat from our needs, and to retreat from and institute tougher boundaries for those of us who actively seek to satisfy our wants for Ts in parental roles.
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I did retreat from my needs. Needing people is dangerous because it makes me vulnerable. I don't need anyone in life. Until now, until my T told me she'd be there to fill in any needs i missed out on, until she made me trust her, until she was there so consistently that i got complacent in that i never expected her to withdraw from me. She told me that there are people who are trustworthy. She included herself in that. And now she did the very thing i trusted she wouldn't. And now i have no defences to cope with it.
Tough-love my a s s she stuffed up big time here.