avoiding people is definitely part of the depression. I have no desire to work with anyone. I just want to be with my family all day.

I think what makes it harder is that this may just be in my head. I'm still part of the manager's meetings and am asked to give my opinion on things. I just got cut out of one thing that honestly I didn't want anyway, but my manager probably forgot I was going to do and gave it to someone else.

The past couple of days, I've been acting as a coordinator for a manager higher level than me that I do not report to, so it always feels like I'm better at helping others coordinate problems than to solve them myself. I can't handle my own paperwork.

I guess I need to give myself permission to not be the "best" right now. I'm not terrible. I'm just trying to get by. No one talks to me about performance, so I have to assume no news is good news. At least around here, you don't really get praise for doing well at your job, only if you don way more than your job. I think that's why others are motivated to check emails after work and stay late, etc... They want that praise. If you do you're job, you're really just considered average. Well that's where I have to be now.