(((Rose))),

It is not unusual for someone to not know how to identify one, it is not like people point it out to us when we are growing up. It is sad if a child has a parent that is one, usually it is only one parent with a submissive/passive other parent. The passive parent instinctually knows there can be a substancial cost if they don't give the N partner control.

They can be charming and charismatic, the life of the party and people can be very "loyal" to them. They often make sure they are "politically correct" and appear to have all the "social graces" from the outside. Many of them can be smart so it is not unusual for them to have a loyal following of people who don't see them for what they really are, that is why they can do so well in the political arena. They do know how to look like they are loyal and adore or respect others who also might be narcisistic with wealth and power.

A good example is Lance Armstrong, he had woven his power in alot of places, fooled alot of people, has no problem lying. And he fooled people in places where outing him could disrupt so much that he almost got away with what he was doing. Look how "high" his power went. And the "fear" he created around him.

I have seen this go on in the competitive horse world. I often felt I was swimming in a cespool of "big ego's" where the most important thing was winning and a lot of cold and heartless things went on that really upset me and shocked me quite frankly. The Lance Armstrong story was somewhat triggering to me because some of the things they did to the horses behind closed doors were awful.

I remember sitting at the awards dinner after my daughter and her horse won some big year end awards and tophies, and it felt bitter sweet to me to be honest. I just didn't feel it was worth what our horse had to go through to achieve that. We didn't ever drug him, but a season like that does take a toll, and I sat there thinking how much I didn't feel it was worth it. I didn't want my daughter to learn that the win justified the sacrifice of a good animal, that isn't horsemanship to me.

That horse really "loved" my daughter and he helped her learn and achieve so much.
The next year he fell ill and died in her lap on the way to the vet hospital. It was such a horrible experience, so sad and tramatic. When I look back on all that, my daughter really learned how fragile these animals are and we had talks about what was important about this competitive world. Now my daughter rides for "acomplishment" in building healthy skills in the horse. She smiles not at the winning, but for the ride, and how well the horse is gaining in his abilities to do the competitive task put in front of him. She knows there are competitors who win because of connections and drugs and egos and money. She has chosen to rise above that, knowing it is there, and taking her pride in the healthier ways.

So my advice to others who might find themselves in a sea of Narcisists, is to think about what "you" want, disconnect from them and what they consider "value" as well. I can tell you that I have found others that are like me and my daughter, who respect the sport and the skills and knowledge achieved that are separate from that narcisistic game that is played. If you consider what is really important, choose to disconnect from all the things Narcisists consider "important" which is part of their "power", you can find a much happier way to live your life.

Understand that Narcisists think that the most important thing is "power and recognition" they cannot see anything but the limelight. They often want to take whatever shortcuts they can to gain "power and have some long lasting mark or sign that they are "the best". Whatever is "sacrificed" or crumbles around them, they simply don't care, they only care about that "limelight". It never ceases to amaze me how many people believe them, buy their agenda, and follow along in blindness.

It "is" difficult to be involved with "their world", however there are lots of them and they tend to be at the top of the heap and dance around with an air of power that tends to intimidate so many around them. But there are groups of people who are healthier to be around that can respect others who like them, choose to do life differently.

Sigh, yeah, I know pegasus, they can even be in an environment you would not expect them to be in too.
They are anywhere there can be power and money even in churches and places that are designed to "help" people. They have a way of looking over you like you are not even there. Politicians have to have people who remind them to actually "look at the people that ask them questions". They rely on people to stage situations that add "the human element" that is being addressed and needed to sustain "power". But challenge them and they can focus on you with "all" their attention and they will look for every opportunity to belittle you even if it means "lieing".

I have been on the receiving end of that challenge and these individuals can spread lies and deceptions that have no truths at all. It can be amazing how they will pull all their possible resouces and power and cohorts together, hide secrets and make the "whistle blower" look bad. Again, the Lance Armstrong situation is a really good example of that.

Open Eyes