Quote:
Originally Posted by AdviceSeeker81
Thank you all for your posts, I am sensing that the majority of folks think I am putting too much pressure on him. I'm not trying to. I can tone it down a bit, I am not sure if I want to lock it down to a total moratorium though. He is on a statin which I guess could have sexual side affect, I should talk to him about that.
I guess my issue is not just the sex but also that he said he has NO passion for me, and never did. That he won't ever try to find new ways to please me and that he can never see me as sexy. That doesn't feel good. He knows that it makes me upset because I am extremely, to a fault honest with him and most others for that matter. I am seriously considering seeking therapy but he thinks that would be a waste of time for me and a waste of money. I am just feeling like he doesn't want anything to change, and that he is unwilling to put forth the effort to make me happy in this regard.
I am just not sure what to do. Most of you say stop doing what I am doing, but what can I do instead?
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I'm not so quick to just say dump the last 8 years of your life. You obviously married him for a reason. The man you married is not gone but he may be a little hard of hearing. Take it from a guy who's been around for a while; WHEN MEN ARE COMFORTABLE, THEY CAN BE BLIND TO THINGS THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER SEE AS OBVIOUS AND SIGNIFICANT.
I know it seems unbelievable but he could still simply not understand how close to losing you he is. You need to tell him, flat out, that this is not working for you and that something has to change. You're not wrong to want what you want. YOU do not need therapy. The marriage is broken right now but it is not irreparable. IT needs therapy. You should insist on Marriage Counseling and tell him that if he refuses, you will leave him. If that is not an option, he has no reason to change. he has to make a real effort. Then, if he knows what the issue is and has done nothing to change, at least when you walk away, you can do it with the knowledge that you tried everything possible to fix it.