Oh, Speed, please get another grief counselor. Just like physicians, some are super,
others are good, and some just don't have the personal sensitivity that is needed to be helpful. You didn't deserve that.

You're not responsible for your mother's suicide, nor are you responsible for your son's death. His was an accident, and you may never know why your mother killed hereself. Neither of those means that you would think about doing the same thing.

You've a lot to live for. Your husband has pleaded with you not to do something
drastic. Please tell your husband about this and ask him to get another counselor for you right away. This one was not good in the sense of being SENSITIVE.