Yes, although I have not had time to look it up, but just by analogy with tobacco second hand smoke, the baby should never be exposed to it. It is a risk factor for SIDS, together with putting the baby to sleep on the stomach, not breastfeeding, and having soft sleeping surfaces (whether crib or adult bed, does not matter) and stuff like crib bumpers near the baby. So that definitely needs to be banned.

I have a friend, Joe, who is a former colleague and Bipolar II on the depressive side of things. He occasionally smokes pot, like you. He married a woman who had already had three children, AND had two more children with her. Worked, earned a living and supported 5 kids throughout. I cannot imagine his wife pestering him with threats of eviction over something so harmless. Initially, before correct medications were found for him, he was on disability. Eventually, he was put on correct medications, went to MIT which is hard to get in to, got a good job, etc. etc. Eventually, you will be all right, too.You will find another job. eventually. You will have it figured out with time.

Since you are legally married, the child will be yours without having to prove paternity. So, just in case, I would go see someone from legal aid, if you can, to figure out how you will get your part of the custody of the child in case she tells you to move out. I would also ask the psychiatrist to test your Lithium levels. Finally, make sure you are refilling the medications on time. After that, talk to the psychiatrist and give a heads-up that you might be facing a legal case for which you will need a note that you are compliant with the treatment plan (refilling prescriptions and having therapeutic levels of Lithium in the blood demonstrate that). That is just in case your wife decides to be aggressive and exploit your mental illness. Let us hope she is cooperative but just in case. Since what she is doing now (giving you ultimatums over something that is not a new development and is harmless) is unreasonable, she may prove unreasonable in the course of separation as well, if it gets to that point.