Yes...since childhood.
My siblings.
My husband.
Now my kids.
I found it was easier to just be the fault person.

I question it now....the kids blaming me for things
happening I don 't recall. Things from when they were
too young to remember....Things I can not even imagine
myself doing.
An 'easy mark ' I guess.
In all the years I 've been fighting depression, guilt has been
the hardest to overcome.
I 'm not very strong sometimes....and it 's been a long time
since anyone put their arms around me and told me it 'll be OK.
That "It 's not your fault."

Logically I kinda understand....emotionally I can 't shake it.
I try to live in the 'here & now '....but my mind drifts.
....old habit.

I DO read....a lot!
But I don 't go out of my yard and seldom out of my house.
Physical & emotional locks on my doors.

I 'm trying to leave yesterday behind. Live each moment.
It 's the only way I can see to survive.
Even to the point of separating myself from everyone that
is negative.
I 've left a lot behind.

If I could just get out of the habit...it eats away at my insides.
Thanks....means a lot.